Things are still going strong for Jason and I. We laugh still everyday and only had one really big fight. Hes still new to the relationship thing but things are great! We are growing everyday as a couple. My kids like him as well which is a real plus. He really makes my life complete.

Wow, time has just flew bye. On February 1st. I met the greatest guy in the world. His name is Jason. 9 days later we had our first date and now we are a month into our relationship. He makes me so happy that I cry all the time because of him. On our one month he told me that he loved me. I had a feeling that we will get married. Hes 26 and makes me laugh all the time. Only time will tell with us but I'm really excited for it.

I'm so sick and tired of being used. I'm so sick and tired of waiting for someone that is half way perfect and getting my hopes up for starting a new life and being disappointed.

All I want is a boyfriend. Someone that will take me out once in a while. Someone that will buy my flowers once in a while. Someone that will take care of me when I'm sick. Text message me telling me that hes thinking about me or that he can't wait to see me.

Why do I find these guys that use me for sex, money, for everything that I have? What am I doing wrong? I'm not putting out easy, I don't have a whole lot of money.

I just want a boyfriend. I just want to find someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Lots of things has happened to me in 2007. Some that I regret others that I just made a simple mistake. In the month of May my whole world about crashed around me. Not only did I find out that I was pregnant but in a rage of being scared and confused I broke up with the man that I loved so much. The following month I had a abortion. The one and only thing that I have ever regretted so much in my life. June 29th is always going to be a day that I remember. Talking about it thinking about it makes me cry. Every month after that I often wondered how far a long I would have been.

Months after that.. I started to have my feet on the ground again. I was able to laugh without feeling guilty. I was able to smile and not feel the pain that was still inside of me.

At the end of the year I was struggling. Still am if I don't add. John had got my car repo'd a week before Thanksgiving, the next day he lost his job. I was out of child support. Wondering if or how I was going to be able to pay bills and even more important rent I worked as hard as I could.

Not only all that but some jerk cut me off and I slid into a snowbank and screwed up my front end. The cherry was that I also got a flat tire then the tires that were on my car were discontinued so I had to buy two new tires. Not having any money has it was I was stressed and crying all the time. I got into a deep depression.

One day I was driving home from getting the kids and I just thought about how I need to change my life around. So, I went to church. You know what it made me feel better. A lot better. Not only that but I found a friend that fixed my front end for free.

After that my friend named Rob called me and wanted to hang out. I owed him huge for fixing my car so I had to repay him. We started talking and I began to really like him. Like REALLY like him. He's known for a while but with Greg and the abortion and all the BS drama he kinda just stood in the background.

We shared our first kiss at the mall on Christmas Eve. It was wonderful. It made me feel like a school girl again. Ever since we have been together. I've met his family and a friend. The way he interacts with his son is amazing. Hes a real man and a real father and the most amazing thing is that hes only 22 years old.

Now, its 2008. I kissed Rob at midnight. Once again it was amazing. I can't wait to see what happens this year. I hope many of my dreams come true. I'm trying not to push anything or jump the gun. However, being a woman hoping that when a new guy walks into her life that bells will be ringing. Church bells that is. I still have a lot to learn about Rob. But as of right now I'm loving every second of it. He makes plans to do something not me. For every season we have something planned. I just hope that it all works out. Winter time sledding with the boys, spring time trips to the zoo, summer time cedar point, and in the fall trips to the apple orchard. I can't wait.

Things are finally looking up for me. Things are turning around. His dreams are the same with me. Kinda weird how that works out. Hoping for the best. Praying for the best.

Hello to all my blog readers. Sorry it has taken so long to write. I don't know really who all reads this but its a good way for get things off my chest and vent a little.

First and for most I need to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. I really didn't get anything and for once I'm ok with that. About my day today then I'll bring up whats been going on the last month to get everyone up to speed. I really didn't have ALL that much money to spend on the boys since John lost his job A MONTH AGO! But I think with $60 I did pretty darn good. The boys made out with from Brandy the sitter, my parents and myself. They also got gifts from Johns parents and John so they had MORE then enough. So, I wake up about 8:30 this morning cause I was having a dream about Greg. I hate having dreams about him and I don't know why I did but I did. So, I texted him. I finally fell back to sleep cause I had been only living off 3 or 4 hours of sleep for a week and I was dead tired. Only to be waken up a few hours later by Hunter who was all excited that Santa came. I made Hunter wait till Mason was up which only then a few seconds later. Me still being tired I texted everyone in my contacts on my phone and finally got Mason out of bed. We opened gifts and I started to clean up all the wrapping paper. My parents came over about 1ish with gifts, ham and a cheese log. YUMMY! Just before then Rob texted me asking what I was doing later that night cause he wanted to come over for Christmas dinner at his parents house. I of course had to go. I'll explain Rob in minute. I get to Robs and meet his mom and step dad and his little brother. Talan who is Robs son was there and was HUGE! I ate and the boys played. The boys and I stayed for about 4 hours and I loved every second of it. It was truly the high light of my day. So that was my day.

So, whats been going on with me for the last month? Well, I'm still hard core looking for a job with still no luck. My welfare FINALLY got started and I now am able to get food, we had a HUGE snow storm last week and some moron cut me off and I slid into a snowbank completely screwing up my front end. I have been depressed, lonely and just had the worst luck in the world. Rob a friend of Joe who lives above me works at GM and I have liked him for a while. He has a 2 year old son named Talan who is very much apart of his life. He has a job, a car, doesn't do drugs, drinks sometimes and has his life together. Granted he still lives at home but thats ok with me. He fixed my front end for free and plans on fixing the rest of my car. YAY! I've also started going to church now. I just feel better when I go. I think about life more and think more clearly. Its nice. Rob and I have spent a lot of time together and I really like it. First he fixes my car, then he has me over for Christmas dinner with his parents which I mean come on I'm meeting his parents thats gotta mean something, right? We plan on going to church this Sunday which I'm really excited about and hes already asking me what I plan on doing for New Years Eve! This is great! I don't know whats going to happen but whatever it is I'm really loving it. Finally life for me is turning around for the best. I'm starting to be really happy and be myself again.

Looking forward to the new year...